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10 Ways to Love Your Wife
Today is Valentine's Day, which is historically a day when men frantically try to appease their wives by buying them flowers or candy or jewelry, but do little throughout the rest of the year to demonstrate genuine love.
Christian men should be the most loving and caring husbands this world knows. I am not writing to debate the merits of having a Valentine's Day holiday, nor to say that "every day should be Valentine's Day." But in the spirit of the day, let me offer a few suggestions of how Christian men could and should show love to their wives today, and throughout the year as well.
These first five ways are practical demonstrations of love.
1. Make her dinner
Not every guy is an "iron chef" but there are so many different options to help guys make delicious meals that are relatively simple. I am going to bet that if your wife comes home to a meal you have prepared, she will be thankful, even if the meal doesn't taste great, and even if the meal is a Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich. The fact that she won't have to cook that night may be of even more value than what is actually on the plate.
At the same time, don't be afraid to watch YouTube videos, or look at Pinterest, or raid her recipe books for ideas. If you can follow directions on how to repair car engines or understand schematics, you are perfectly capable of following a recipe.
2. Wash the dishes
I remember when I was younger, there was a placard on the kitchen wall of my friend's home that read, "I love a man with dishpan hands." I never forgot that and how the husband in that home frequently helped with dirty dishes. I am also thankful for my mom who taught me how to do the dishes as well.
Whether you have to hand wash dishes, or just make sure the dishes make it into the dishwasher, the point is that someone else besides your wife is doing the job that few people enjoy doing it.
3. Clean up the kitchen
This goes beyond just doing the dishes. Make sure the kitchen is cleaned up for her. For many women, the kitchen can be their kind of sanctuary. If the kitchen is clean, they are happy. So, take the time to make sure the counters are cleared of unnecessary clutter, the dishes are done, and the counters are washed.
And while you're at it, don't feel like you have to stop with the kitchen. Clean up your bedroom or living room, or bathroom.
4. Do laundry
Piles of dirty laundry are hardly a difficult problem to fix. Any man is perfectly capable of doing laundry. If you have never been taught, watch a YouTube video, google it, or phone a friend. There is no excuse why men cannot do laundry correctly these days.
By the way, children should learn to do this as well. I began doing my own laundry when I was in seventh grade. We taught our kids to do the same. This will be a great help to your wife.
5. Buy her a card
Buy her a Valentine's Card today. But feel free to buy her a card, or flowers, or something else periodically throughout the year. Flowers or cards should not be used as an attempt to "get-out-of-the-dog-house." They should be periodic reminders to your wife that you love her and are thinking about her and that she is special to you.
These are just a few simple and practical suggestions to show love to your wife. But these next five things are of even more importance to her, no doubt.
6. Pray for your wife
Every Christian husband should pray for his wife every day. No excuses. She needs God's help and strength to live with you, to handle needs at home with the children, to handle situations at work, to be a godly testimony to others, to grow spiritually closer to the Lord, and so much more. Pray for her. This is one of the most loving things you can do for her. Also, tell her that you pray for her. This will be very meaningful to her.
7. Pray with your wife
Praying for her is one thing; praying with her is another. If more Christian men prayed with their wives, there would be fewer marital problems to deal with. Praying with her helps to unite your hearts together as you pour out your hearts to God. You are agreeing together that you need God's help in your marriage, in your home, and in your lives. Men, if you are not praying with your wife regularly, even daily, repent and start praying with her tonight.
8. Devote yourself to God
One of the most loving things a man can do is to regularly and consistently devote himself to God through his own personal reading of Scripture and prayer. You cannot properly love your wife unless you are growing in your love for God. And the more you are truly loving God, the more you will genuinely and freely love your wife. She wants and needs to see that your personal walk with God is of great importance to you.
9. Lead your family spiritually
Most likely, your wife craves for you to lead your family spiritually. This is more than simply having "family devotions," although that is a good thing to do. It involves your spiritual leadership within the home, leading your family to act and respond biblically to each other, making worship on the Lord's Day a priority and something to be prepared for, being involved in the discipline of the children, and more. Your wife craves for you to take the spiritual leadership in your home, for this is how God designed the home to function well.
10. Love your wife knowledgeably and sacrificially
1 Peter 3 tells husbands to dwell with their wives in an understanding way and to give them honor. Men do not have to understand all women, just one. Learn your wife well. And love her accordingly.
Ephesians 5 tells husbands to love their wives like Christ loved the church and gave himself for it. Men, sacrifice yourself for your wife. Sacrifice your time, your energy, your desires, and even your finances for her. We can say we are willing to give our lives for our wives, but if we are not willing to sacrifice our time for her today, our promise to die for her will seem empty. No husband loves his wife adequately, but every Christian husband should strive to grow and improve in his love for his wife.
Get your eyes away from your screens and look at your wife when she talks to you. Put away your phone and engage your wife in real meaningful conversations. When you come home each day, take a quick survey of things to understand what would be helpful to her and be a blessing to her, and then do that for her without being asked and without expecting anything in return. Just do things because you love her.
Christian men need to grow in their love for their wives. These are ten suggestions. I am going to guess that if you do these things, or others like them - and not just on Valentine's Day - your wife will be thrilled.